Choose from our shop labels or select the ‘custom candle’ option to personalise one/create your very own or simply contact us to place an order

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this house runs on love, laughter & inappropriate humour
$38.00
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hello weekend - bra off, candle lit, wine poured
$38.00
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mum's candlelight & wine time - back the fuck off
$38.00
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I like wine, picky bits, the word cunt & about 3 people
$38.00
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smells like - one of those fucking days
$38.00
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mum's candlelight & wine time - approach with caution
$38.00
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what happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's
$38.00
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50 & fabulous-in your 'zero fucks for anyone's bullshit' era
$38.00
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I'm not a control freak - but you're doing it wrong
$38.00
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menopause - when the hairs fall off your fanny & grow back on your chin
$38.00
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work made us co-workers - inappropriate conversations made us friends
$38.00
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you're my kinda weirdo
$38.00
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all you need is love - a good therapist & wine
$38.00
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Excellent - would bang again
$38.00
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you make my minge twinge
$38.00
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mood lighting - I'm in it!
$38.00
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my valentine - you're a bit average but you'll do
$38.00
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light this when you want me naked
$38.00
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my valentine - you'll always be my favourite dick
$38.00
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light this and remember ... you're fucking awesome!
$38.00
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mum's stress melter - thanks for putting up with my shit
$38.00
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relax & unwind - you work harder than an ugly stripper
$38.00
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fuckwit repellant
$38.00
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avoid cunts not carbs
$38.00
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I can live without lots of things ...
$38.00
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absolute queen - made of sarcasm, wine & everything fine
$38.00
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menomood melter don't look speak or even fucking breathe
$38.00
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light this when you need to calm the fuck down
$38.00
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grandparents to be - smells like unconditional love with hints of overindulgence
$38.00
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go on then off you fuck - I mean congrats on your new job
$38.00
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my favourite bitch-boganic base notes with hints of fucking awesome
$38.00
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In a world full of maybes, my dog is my always
$38.00
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Soulful eyes, butt wiggles & snout boops
$38.00
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I'm just my dog's snack dealer
$38.00
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50 & fucking fabulous-smells like fading youth with hints of stale piss
$38.00
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The love of a dog ...
$38.00
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custom candle - your wording
$38.00
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happy birthday beautiful and saddle up ... there's fuckery to spread
$38.00
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cunts like you are precious and few
$38.00
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friends like you are precious and few
$38.00
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my favourite child gave me this
$38.00
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boro bliss - smells like parmos & Greggs
$38.00
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glorious man united - smells like the Etihad burning down
$38.00
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liverpool legends - smells like Hill Dickinson burning down
$38.00
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mighty man city - smells like Old Trafford burning down
$38.00
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super spurs - smells like the Emirates burning down
$38.00
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mum - a person who does the work of many ... for free
$38.00
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fuck me you passed! I mean congratulations
$38.00
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Engaged AF.
$38.00
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school year end - hallefuckingllujah!
$38.00
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blissfully single - one arsehole in a girl's pants is enough
$38.00
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can't get hitched without you bitch - will you be my bridesmaid?
$38.00
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smells like: you're in the bride tribe
$38.00
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smashed your exams! and we all thought you were a dumb fuck
$38.00
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congrats on your new job - hope your co-workers are arseholes
$38.00
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when this is lit fuck off
$38.00
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I identify as someone who doesn't give a fuck
$38.00
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light the candle pour the wine - you've earned it!
$38.00
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fuck you're old-old as fuck
$38.00
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Thirty AF.
$38.00
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awesome auntie vibes - smells like snuggles infused with love & protection
$38.00
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awesome mama to be - smells like pure baby bliss
$38.00
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finally divorced-smells like freedom with hints of relief & thank fuck its over
$38.00
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homeowner bliss-smells smug AF with strong hints of adulting
$38.00
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fuck me you passed! I mean congratulations
$38.00
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birthday bliss smells like champagne with hints of cake & cock
$38.00
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married AF.
$38.00

EACH CANDLE IS BEAUTIFULLY GIFT-BOXED READY TO GO